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For Fear

by Green Palm Radiation

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1.
Match sticks, gasoline, vacant eyes, and dripping morphine Take out bags floating artificial islands in the sea Windstorms, rain, sandy feet depleting inches by degree And I think that I could use company Sit in silence and listen to the breeze I can’t see how, I can’t see how To see the forest for the trees. It’s hard to say it won’t be long, but you know it won’t, you know it’s true Good for you accumulating all of that stuff you like to Good for me I’m drifting off to sleep this sleepy afternoon
2.
Way Home 04:14
I’m thinking of supersonic melody I’m thinking of the notes that carry me home Chorus comes, the chorus goes We hit repeat and recompose I’m making up a dance that’s made for nobody I’m pushing at the edges of the way home Chorus comes, the chorus goes We hit repeat and recompose Living it up until the point we fall Living it up until there’s no returning We must believe there’s meaning when there’s none at all Living it up until the point we fall Living it up until there’s no returning We must concede we’re dreaming though we’ve seen it all And if you find me curled up by the drain hole and if you find me cursing at the rainfall Chorus comes, the chorus goes We move our feet, we pack our clothes Living it up until the point we fall Living it up until there’s no returning We must believe there’s meaning when there’s none at all Living it up until the point we fall Living it up until there’s no returning We must concede we’re dreaming though we’ve seen it all
3.
In The Haze 03:44
About every 90 days We plug in and then we play and I think it fried my brain When that chord, it hit me and I think I love this haze more than anything Turn up volume, turn up tone Feel the feedback in my bones On this dirty basement stage I’m gonna sing out to you In the reverb and the phase it is everything. You will be the beat inside my heart You will be the scream inside my scars I’ll fucking carry you, I’ll fucking carry you On and on, on and on, on and on 4x4 is all I need To charge into this symphony The conducter is dead We put a knife right through him! Chrome and steel and tweed and lead, it is killing There’s no need to look ahead We don’t turn and look behind We are here, we are here, we are on fire Bloody fingers, bloody hell, I’ll die singing You will be the beat inside my heart You will be the scream inside my scars I’ll fucking carry you, I’ll fucking carry you On and on, on and on, on and on
4.
Strategy 04:58
A game of chess would always get me wondering of waging war with you Mastermind would play tricks on my memory I’m guessing about you Simon always treats me like an enemy I can’t follow, can’t follow you Othello’s paranoia took his dignity And it’s time to lose This is eternity, this is eternity A strategy of diminishing returns This is eternity, this is eternity I poured my marbles into circularity And they formed distinct groups I thumbed it into a general vicinity And it rolled right to you This is eternity, this is eternity A strategy of diminishing returns This is eternity, this is eternity
5.
Raise 03:43
Messy face and sticky fingers (I really love the way you are) Spinning, jumping, you are eager (I really love the way you are) Fussing, fighting, tipping over (I really love the way you are) I raise you up and a clear blue sky, it frames your features Then the sun gets into my eyes. My eyes. The bus has crashed and lost it’s people (I really love the way you are) Patterns, rhythms, blocks, and pictures (I really love the way you are) I raise you up and a clear blue sky, it frames your features Then the sun gets into my eyes. My eyes. I will see you all tomorrows (I really love the way you are) I will always be your hero (I really love the way you are) I raise you up and a clear blue sky, it frames your features Then the sun gets into my eyes. My eyes.
6.
Rain Delay 04:14
Restless, driftin’ around Rooftop garden insinuates and it surrounds Shades of unfocused grey Paranoia fabricates at the break of day Everybody sees the morning rain come down See the rain come down Tangled, tripping around Trapped reflections, as if no one is around Universally felt Endless minds refusing to see through the crowd Everybody sees the morning rain come down See the rain come down Stand up now and burn it all away…
7.
Lean-To 04:56
Curled up in a ball Evading all the shadows in the hall I also heard those clicks And I heard the noises in the attic I am in your head There is nothing underneath your bed Close the window shade Find the tiny centre of your space Curled up in your virtue Nothing bad will catch you A crack across the sky The world is ending through your teary eyes The trees are bending low The howling wind it will not let you go Curled up in your virtue I will be your lean-to When I stop and think about it I have my doubts I have my panic I’m sorry that I am afraid When I stop and think about it My control it has its limits I’m sorry that I am afraid When I stop and think about it I can barely talk about it I’m sorry that I am afraid I’m sorry that I am afraid…
8.
Superball 04:13
I have grown so tired of listening to all the politics of hate Music in the summertime is much more enlightening to create I want to pack my bags and follow all the lines on the road Dotted, dashed, crooked, and faded and those unknown Please come with me Please come with me And we’ll get crazy, fucking crazy And I wonder if you'd join me on a new, indulgent trip The powers that be, well, they might just stone me and sink our ship We’ll let our minds do the walking Rage and stomp and grab at the sun And spin round and round until we get dizzy and call it fun Please come with me Please come with me And we’ll get crazy, fucking crazy Let’s stomp them in, let’s stomp them into the ground! Let’s stomp them in, let’s stomp them into the ground!
9.
I had a dream that I was back at Lovesick Lake And you were sitting in my arms Running through the sand, a tiny footprint wake Speckled flakes of sun in the calm A beautiful mirage, a joyous heartbreak I’d take you there if I had a way But my will, my love, and my occasional mistakes Will bring us there together one day
10.
Shut Out 04:36
Here’s a girl she loves you Here’s a boy he loves you This could be so much, this could be so much You don’t have to be, you don’t have to be shut out You just gotta love, you just gotta love, shout out! These stupid people they hate you Barbarians, they hate you They are extinguishing, they are extinguishing You don’t have to be, you don’t have to be shut out You just gotta love, you just gotta love, shout out!
11.
They have wormed their way Into consciousness explained They try to kill it all We try to amputate but it doesn’t do harm It just raises antiquated alarms It just edifies, emboldens, and arms them anyway I want my immunity Inoculate my mind Eviscerate the motherfuckers on the front lines Incriminate the gangsters pulling party lines Sitting in my armchair reciting these lines invisibly Why do I care? Why do I care? For family, for fear, for fair For family, for fear, for fair
12.
She wrote an essay on dreams to help her get by She wrote a poem on screams to quiet her nights She drew a picture of love and lit it on fire She almost thought it enough because she gets tired She’s uncrumpled the pages that clutter her mind She’s not sure what they’re saying She’s worried that she’s leaving something behind An idea or two that could save her She might as well be a stone Skipping at first and then dropping below She might as well be alone Eluded by the secret passages home I wake up with last night’s dream still lingering around me I’m in the basement of a house leaning at an angle Water dripping from the ceiling and pooling on the floor The images feel heavy, penetrate my skin, sink down into my stomach where they stay Like my mother taught me, I shrug it off, brush my teeth, get showered And wipe the residue of the dream away until the mess of me slips back into place She remodeled her voice to make herself hear She restated her choice to make herself fear She’s uncrumpled the pages that clutter her mind She’s not sure what they’re saying She’s worried that she’s leaving something behind An idea or two that could save her She might as well be a stone Skipping at first and then dropping below She might as well be alone Eluded by the secret passages home

credits

released January 7, 2019

All songs written, performed, and produced by Jay Newberry.
Mixed by Jay Newberry and Curtis Maranda.
Mastered by Curtis Maranda.
Additional vocals on “Lean-To” by Jaime Brown and Mike Corbett.
Spoken word on “Essay On Dreams” by Kristen Roderick.
Album art by Richard Perkins.
Big thank yous to those above and Mike Hotta, Andrew Honor, Dave Hosaki, Andrew Vierich, and Richard Bicknell.

For Linda and David xo

© 2019 Green Palm Radiation

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Green Palm Radiation Guelph, Ontario

Green Palm Radiation is the psych-pop musings of Jay Newberry, of Guelph, Ontario, Canada. Buzzing riffs, jangly strums, drones and hums, and hook-laden sing-a-longs.


"People know I’m a sucker for beautiful noise pop. And this spacey, dreamy, one-man band affixes childlike, kid-friendly, custard-sweet melodies to distorto-guitar swirls". - Jack Rabid, The Big Takeover
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